


I Can't

by beingonstageismagic



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, BAMF John, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Molly, Hurt Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Love, Marriage, Molly Is A Bit Not Good, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Is A Bit Not Good, Sherlolly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingonstageismagic/pseuds/beingonstageismagic
Summary: Sherlock was staring up at her with so much hope in his eyes, so much love and adoration. Such a fire. And Molly felt her heart break at having to put that fire out.What happens when Molly is forced to break Sherlock's heart, whilst also breaking her own?





	I Can't

Sherlock was staring up at her with so much hope in his eyes, so much love and adoration. Such a fire. And Molly felt her heart break at having to put that fire out. 

 

"I- I can't, Sherlock. I'm sorry."

 

His face dropped. His hand closed the ring box and he brought himself back to standing. Molly reached for him but he stepped away from her. He pocketed the ring and stared at her for a moment, as if committing her face to memory. 

 

"Very well."

 

Was all he said before he was out the door. 

 

Molly's hands were shaking as she collapsed to the floor. Her sobs attacked her body and tears fell freely to the floor. She pulled her knees into her chest and let herself cry, knowing she had probably just lost the one person she had ever truly loved. All because of the one person she truly hated.

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

Sherlock has never felt so broken in his life. He had arrived back at Baker Street not knowing what to do with himself. He had raised his pistol to the wall but had been unable to shoot when he saw the photo of him and Molly smiling at each other hanging solemnly in the centre. He remembered the day that photo was taken, it was another annual Christmas party at 221B and Mrs Hudson had hung some mistletoe without Sherlock's knowledge. They had not been together for long, and Molly was still nervous about the whole situation, but he had taken no moment of hesitation before kissing her in front of the entire crowd and then smiling down at her afterwards, their noses almost touching. Greg Lestrade had given him the picture a few days later as a late present, telling him to always remember how happy he felt with Molly in his arms. 

 

He had skulked over to his violin and was about to pull the bow over the strings when he had seen the piece he was composing for the two of them on his music stand, entitled 'us'. He had planned on recording it to use it as their first dance song. 

 

His feet had taken him to the fridge to check on his latest experiment when his hands had stopped him from opening it as his eyes found the Polaroid stuck on the door. Molly was laughing as Sherlock kissed her cheek, party hats were on their heads and Molly's birthday cake sat on the table in front of them. 'I love you' was written in Molly's curled hand along the bottom. 

 

The tears finally fell from his eyes as he moved into his bedroom. Ignoring the boxes of her things in the corner. Ignoring the note she'd left on his mirror saying she couldn't wait for their date tonight. Ignoring her pyjamas folded neatly on his bed. 

 

He changed and climbed into bed, ignoring the scent of her that overwhelmed him as he did so. He let himself cry as he drifted off to sleep. Thoughts of his lost pathologist floating around his head as if he could reach out and catch them. 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

Two weeks had passed since that night. Two weeks since Sherlock had left Molly's apartment. Two weeks since their hearts had been broken. Two weeks since they'd last spoken to or seen one another. 

 

It was two weeks too long in John Watson's opinion. 

 

Rosie fussed in his arms as he bounced her on his hip, pacing his kitchen as Greg sat on a chair at the table. 

 

"Something isn't right, Greg. I can feel it. Molly loves Sherlock. Everyone knows that. Everyone has seen that. There was no denial between either of them after Eurus' trials. There was no reason for Molly to say no."

 

"Maybe marriage isn't her thing."

 

"No. She loved helping Mary with ours." John ignored the prickling in the back of his eyes at the thought of his lost love. 

 

"Then maybe she wasn't ready."

 

"No. No that's not it. I can feel it. Something isn't right."

 

"Well what can we do? The two of them won't speak to each other. Sherlock has been refusing to take any cases that would require him to be in the lab and Molly is too busy respecting his space to slap any sense into him."

 

"I don't know, but I think it's time we take a visit to auntie Molly's."  

 

Rosie cooked as her father tickled her belly and rubbed her nose with his own. 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

Molly stared at the photo in her hand. It was of her and Sherlock after one of his cases that John had taken. She had wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself into his shirt, burying her cheek in the silky purple material. He held her with so much force and looked at her with so much affection, it made her heart skip. She wiped her eyes and dropped the photo upon the knock at the door. 

 

"John," she attempted a weak smile but knew it didn't reach her eyes, "come in."

 

She stepped aside as John entered the house. Rosie was bundled up and sleeping in his arms. Molly placed her Moses basket down in the living room for her, she'd purchased a lot of things for Rosie after Mary's request for her to help John. She missed her friend dearly and vowed to help her daughter and husband in whatever way she could. John thanked her in a whisper before placing Rosie down and gesturing to the kitchen where they could talk normally. 

 

"How are you, Molls?"

 

"I'll be fine, John, really." Her smile once again didn't quite make it to her eyes. "Tea?" John nodded and she busied herself and he took a seat at her breakfast bar. 

 

"Anything from Sherlock?"

 

"No." The sadness in her voice was evident even as she tried to mask it. John let her make the teas in silence. 

 

Molly finished and placed his in front of him before sitting beside him with hers. Her hands were shaking as she put her cup down in front of her and John grabbed one with his own. 

 

"What's going on, Molls?" She did nothing but continue staring at her tea. "Come on, Molls. I know you. Something's wrong. And that's why you said no."

 

"I didn't say no." She said it with such ferocity that John's eyebrow raised. More softly, she added. "I didn't say no. I said I can't."

 

"Why can't you?"

 

"It doesn't matter, John. You can't help me." 

 

"At least give me the chance to try." He looked in her eyes and saw sadness, ultimate sadness and heartbreak with a tint of ... fear? She looked away and she saw his face change with realisation. 

 

"What are you afraid of?" She said nothing. "Molly?" She sighed. 

 

"His name is George Williams. He's my husband."

 

John's face paled. His eyes grew wide with intense shock and his mouth hung open. 

 

"Husband?" She nodded. "Molly, I- How? Why didn't you say anything?"

 

"He's only my husband because he refuses to let me divorce him."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She rolled her shoulders and settled back into her chair. John sensed her story coming and did the same. He still hadn't let go of her hand and he squeezed it in a form of comfort. She wiped at her tears before taking a steadying breath. 

 

"I did have a life before Barts. Before you, and Mike and Sherlock. Before you guys became my family I had a different one. We were high school sweethearts, inseparable through college. We married as soon as we were old enough but things took a turn when I got into medical school. He didn't want me to move away, claimed he didn't want to lose me. But I wanted a career, so the more I told him I was going, the more angry he would get. To the point where it became abusive." The tears were flowing freely now and Molly wondered how she still had any left. "I left anyway. Moved out and got away from him. I sent him countless papers for divorce but he always sent them back unsigned. About three years into my residency he started to look for me. Found the hospital I worked at and threatened me. Told me if I didn't come back he'd force me to. Promised me he'd always find me. I went through a lot of legalities, attempts at restraining orders and marriage annulments that always failed. The only thing I did manage to do was change my name." She saw John raise his eyebrows at this. "Molly was just a nickname my Dad used to call me, my real name was Margaret Williams. Hooper is my mum's maiden name."

 

"So you got a whole new identity just to get away from this man?" 

 

"I'm still me John. I'm more Molly Hooper than I ever was Margaret Williams, I didn't want him to be able to find me, and I didn't want to be addressed with his name. He has no part in the person I am right now and I'm glad of that. He's not a man, John, not anymore. He became a monster and I did what I had to do to be rid of him. I got a new name, a new job, a new house and a new family and I couldn't be happier. I never wanted to burden any of you with this. It's part of my life that I'd rather forget."

 

"But, Molls, we can help you. Greg can help you. He can find this guy, put him behind bars, give him what he deserves."

 

"I know. I see that now, I do. But, can you blame me for wanting to leave him behind? If I let him haunt my everyday he wins. I had to let go. I hadn't thought about him in years until two weeks ago. Until I had no other choice but to-"

 

She choked on her tears and John stood to hold her. 

 

"Shhh, it'll be okay, Molls. We'll fix this. I'll help you, we can do this."

 

"I've lost him, John." By now she was fully sobbing into his chest. "I've lost Sherlock."

 

"Not if I have anything to do with it."

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

The black door opened to reveal a solemn looking Mrs Hudson. 

 

"He's upstairs, John. He won't eat, won't sleep. I don't know what to do with him anymore. It's as though Molly was his anchor that was keeping him on Earth. Now that she's gone, he's unreachable."

 

John hugged the older woman as he stepped inside. 

 

"It will all be okay, Mrs Hudson. They just need to talk that's all."

 

She nodded and he moved to the stairs. The apartment was quiet and still. It was odd for 221B. He entered to find Sherlock lying on the couch. No steepled fingers, no mind palace. Just lying there. 

 

"Sherlock." He received a hum in response, "I need to talk to you."

 

"Not in the mood."

 

"Trust me, you want to hear this." 

 

Sherlock sat up and upon seeing the look on his friend's face, stood and moved to his chair, gesturing for John to sit in his old one. John tried to let go of the fact that his had been put back there, opposite Sherlock's, and Molly's moved to the corner of the room, where his used to be. John sat and took a deep breath. 

 

"We need to talk about Molly."

 

"Nope."

 

"Sherlock."

 

"No."

 

"Sherlock, please."

 

"I said no, John!" The unexpected shout shook the flat. 

 

"Sherlock. She wants to marry you."

 

"Clearly not."

 

"Okay, you may not know her as well as you thought you did, but you must know that."

 

"Oh please, John. The reasons are simple. She doesn't want to marry me because she's finally come to the realisation that I don't deserve her. That she's way too out of my league. And that an unfeeling, sociopathic monster such as myself deserves neither her love nor her friendship."

 

"Sherlock, stop being a twat and let me talk."  

 

Sherlock's mouth flapped open and closed for a second before settling in a tight line, his jaw flexing. 

 

"She wants to marry you, but she can't."

 

"Ridiculous."

 

"Sherlock, for Christ's sake, use that bloody big brain of yours and listen to what she said, what I'm saying.  _She can't_." 

 

Sherlock paused for a second before John was sure he could physically see the cogs in his head turning. 

 

"Reasons for people being unable to get married are usually tied to religion, however, Molly is not a religious person. That is evident from her career path and her daily routines. She never mentions having a faith and never attends any kind of religious place of worship. Mostly due to work commitments but otherwise because she simply doesn't need to. The only other reason as to why she may be physically unable to involve herself in holy matrimony were if she-" his face lit up with realisation,

 

"If she was already married."

 

The two men said it at the same time and it hung in the air between them, floating. Waiting for one of them to reach out and catch it, decide what to do with it next. It was Sherlock who spoke first. 

 

"To whom?"

 

"A guy called George Williams."

 

"And she isn't divorced because?"

 

"Because the bastard won't let her."  

 

"So he's possessive, rude, arrogant, disrespectful-" his face scrunched in anger and his fist clenched on the arms of his chair, "He's abusive."

 

Suddenly it was all happening to him all over again, as it had with Mary. He saw Molly, a different Molly for all the years and months that he knew her. The words floating around her in his eyes. Pathologist. Family orientated. Cat person. Still likes dogs. Lonely. In love. Kind. Gentle. Intelligent. Caring. 

 

_Abuse victim._

 

He felt the anger at himself rising from deep within him, but John's voice blew it away. 

 

"He was. Molly got away from him."

 

"Let me guess, through a changed name?" John nodded. "No restraining order or marriage annulment was possible?"

 

"No. The courts didn't like that fact that he wouldn't show up. He's been getting away with it for all these years, Sherlock. They married at 18."

 

Sherlock winced at the thought of Molly being with another man other than himself. 

 

"Where's Greg? We need to get this bastard behind bars."  

 

"I text him earlier. Should be on his way."

 

"Good. This man deserves nothing to do with our Molly."

 

"Agreed."

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

We're going out of town for a day or two. I know it's your day off so Rosie's with Harry. Just letting you know. See you soon, Molls - JW

 

Molly smiled at the message. John would always let her know when him, Sherlock and Greg were galavanting off to find some bad guy. She cleared her screen and ignored the pang of guilt and sorrow that hit her when a snap of her and Sherlock looked back at her. She'd made him take a silly selfie with a Snapchat filter on it. However, he did suit the doggy ears and nose, at least he did in her opinion. 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

_Knock, knock, knock._

 

Molly's groggy eyes tried to make out the time on the clock, 3:42am. 

 

_Knock, knock, knock._

 

She groaned audibly as she questions the heavens as to who would be pounding on her door at such a time. 

 

_Knock, knock, knock._

 

She shot up with wide eyes when she realised it could only be one person. She shoved her feet into her fuzzy, pink, sock slippers and padded her way over to the door. Seeing his silhouette on the other side sent shivers up her spine and goosebumps up her arms. She smoothed our her pyjama bottoms, patterned with sheep, and almost ran back to the bedroom when she realised she was wearing one of his t-shirts. She took a deep breath and reached for the handle turning it slowly. 

 

" _Molly_." He breathed her name as if it was the last word he would ever say. As this thought flashed through her mind, she raked her eyes over his form, checking for injuries and whatnot. 

 

He's fine, he's fine. 

 

He stepped into her house, though she would be fouling herself if she claimed it was uninvited. She kept stepping back she stepped forward until they were in her living room and the outside world was shut behind a closed door. 

 

" _Molly_." He did it again. "Molly, we got him."

 

Her eyes grew twice their size. 

 

"What?"

 

"George Williams. We've got him. He's finished, Molly. His in jail. And-" his voice broke with emotion so thick Molly could feel it surround her like a warm winter coat, "And he's not your husband anymore."

 

She stood dazed and confused as he dropped to his knees before her. Hugging his arms around her waist and burying into her and much as he could. Her arms came up to hold him close sitting in his hair and on his back. 

 

" _Sherlock_." The way she said his name mirrored the was he had breathed hers. 

 

"Molly, I am sorry. I am so sorry." He was crying into her stomach. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm_ _sorry_."

 

"Sherlock, shush. Come on. It's okay."

 

Molly lowered herself onto her knees, attempting to match his level but the height difference proved a challenged. He lowered himself down as she did and she reached out to his face. Stroking her hand across those chiselled cheek bones that she loves oh so much. 

 

"Tell me what happened."

 

He took a steadying breath, closed his eyes and attempted to control his emotions. 

 

"John told me what that monster was putting you through. It couldn't continue, Molly. He wasn't letting you have the life you deserve. Greg, John and I decided that must stop. We tracked him down, found continued reports of domestic abuse, from multiple women, Molly, not just you. We arrested him and Greg ensured he was thrown into the stingiest prison he knew of. We let him, but not before he signed these." He pulled three pieces of paper out of his pocket and handed them over, "We are quite fond of you, Molly, we would do anything for you."

 

Molly's shaking hands opened the papers, the first was a restraining order. The second was  divorce papers, signed by George. The last one was a marriage annulment statement. 

 

"Just in case he used the wrong signature."

 

Molly smiled slightly at his efficiency. 

 

"Just in case." 

 

Her smile widened as she looked up at him, he smiled back, so bright with love that it almost blinded her. Without warning she leapt towards him from the floor. Tackling him on to the floor and hugging him so hard that he may have burst if he wasn't holding her just as tight. 

 

She pulled away just enough to look into his sparkling eyes, dilated to a point that could almost swallow her up. She crashed her lips onto his and they moved with a rhythm only known to them, a melody Sherlock would be sure to add to 'us'. They stayed like that for a few minutes, locked in a kiss so heavenly and transporting that they almost forgot to breathe. 

 

They pulled apart and Sherlock stood, removing his heavy belstaff before he scooped her up from the floor, bridal style to her bedroom. He smiled when he noticed his clothes still stayed folded upon a chair in the corner. She hadn't done anything to remove his presence just as he hadn't done anything to remove hers. 

 

He placed her on the floor before turning and grabbing some pyjama bottoms and turning to leave with a kiss on her cheek. 

 

He figured changing in front of her may be too much too soon, or at least he did until she grabbed his wrist and pulled him to her. 

 

"There's no way I'm letting you walk out that door again." She smiled as she said it but Sherlock saw the hint of worry in her eyes. 

 

"Then I'm not going anywhere." 

 

He placed a soft kiss on her lips before changing into his pyjama bottoms as she climbed into her side of the bed. He clambered in after her and she moved until she was lying against his chest, his heat beat long and loud in her ear. 

 

"I love you, _Molly_ _Hooper_." She looked up at him, silently questioning how he said her name. "You're not Margaret Williams, not anymore. You're Molly Hooper, my Molly Hooper. And nobody wants that to change."

 

She smiled. 

 

"I love you too, Sherlock. Always. Always."

 

Suddenly her eyes lit up and she shot up and jumped from the bed. 

 

"Where are you-" Sherlock's question was cut short by her dashing from the bedroom. 

 

She returned to him and sat up facing him her legs crossed and her eyes wide, a hand behind her back, he did sat up too, turning his head to face her. 

 

She held the hand that behind her back out to him, revealing a small velvet box. His eyes flashed from her face to the box and back. She was smiling timidly at him, a slight raise in her right eyebrow. 

 

"Ask me again?"

 

His brain buffered as she took his large hand in her smaller one and placed the box in it, curling his fingers around it. 

 

"Please?" 

 

Her soft voice was barely a whisper. 

 

He took the box and opened it, once again revealing the beautiful golden ring, a diamond with two yellow topaz either side sparkling up at her. 

 

"Molly Hooper. I have loved you for much longer than I realise. And for that I am sorry. But, these months when I have loved you wholly and openly, with all I am, have been the happiest of my existence. Loving you may make your world more dangerous, tedious, scary and spontaneous. But I'm afraid I've always been quite a selfish man and I cannot being myself to let you go. I need you, Molly. I always have and I always will. You matter the most to me and I want to spend every minute of my life knowing that you are mine and I am yours. So, now that you are indeed the available Molly Hooper, please make me the happiest and luckiest man on the planet by saying you'll be mine. Marry me, Molly Hooper."

 

She smiled cheekily at him. 

 

"I can't answer you if you don't ask me a question."

 

They laughed as he rolled his eyes. 

 

"Fine." He scoffed humorously before he turned serious again. "Molly Hooper, I love you. Will you marry me?"

 

Her smile grew until every single feature on her face lit up. 

 

"Yes, Sherlock Holmes. Yes."

 

They met in the middle for a kiss more sensational than the one they shared in the living room. It was full of promise and hope and love, of a life of happiness and joy. It was full of more than either of them could ask for but everything they were promising to give. When they eventually pulled apart, Molly settled back under the covers and cuddled up to him again. She kissed his bare chest and sighed, before giggling softly. 

 

"And what is so funny?"

 

"Nothing, I just never imagined anything like this would happen to me. I never imagined I'd be free of him and happy. I have so much to thank you for, Sherlock."

 

"Well you can give those thanks by becoming my wife."

 

"That is something I can do very gladly."

 

They smiled. 

 

"Goodnight, future husband."

 

They laughed together as he replied, 

 

"Goodnight, future wife."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it and that it wasn't too OOC!! Let me know in the comments what you thought!! Xx


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